Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
