Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
