why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
