when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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