the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
