and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
