And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
