My first STD was from a foam party
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
