I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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