your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
