Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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