Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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