Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
