yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
