Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
