Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
