my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
