2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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