you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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