You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
