omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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