Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
