I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
