i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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