I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
