I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you will always have a special place in my vag
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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