oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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