I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
