i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
