dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
