GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize