so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
