we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
