I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
