Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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