Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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