Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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