My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
