Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm at about main and main street
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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