Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
