having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
