Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
