suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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