all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
