I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
