Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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