Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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