and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
