Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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