it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i think i just lost a toe
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
